Good for the soul...

Today I signed up to do some voluntary work. I have a bit of time in the week, especially during the day so I will be driving people, predominantly older people, to and from appointments at hospitals or clinics. I think this sort of thing is so important as it not only enriches your life but gives something back to the community. I'd recommend doing a bit of voluntary work to anyone. Its good to do something for no financial reward as it shows you the value of things in different ways. It will also be good for my Dutch! Speaking of which I have signed up for a one month intensive dutch course from the middle of October. I think it will be very difficult but ultimately rewarding (hopefully).

The weather has been quiet bizarre recently. Lots of thunder storms and rain. One storm caused a disaster at one of Belgiums biggest music festivals, Pukkelpop. 5 people died in what must have been like hell arriving all of a sudden. The videos you can see on youtube etc clearly show it was sunny 5 minutes prior to the storm then it went pitch black in a matter of seconds with huge winds destroying tents and felling trees. Awful. We had a few friends and family members there but thankfully they are all OK.

Belgium has been a interesting place of late. It appears that most of the country is on holiday in August. Many of the cafes and restaurants are only beginning to open now after a few weeks being closed. I have quite enjoyed it, nice and quiet. However, this being a big student town you can see the life coming back to the streets and the bars now. It seemed like the Gentse Feesten was a big blow-out before everyone tootled off to France or wherever for a break and now they are slowly coming back home and to work. So not long and Gent will be its usual vibrant self. I for one will also be looking forward to next year when the town hibernates for a few weeks again. That's good for the soul too.

Out of the the frying pan.....

We always knew this would be tough, but I have also always (I think) been good at viewing the big picture. It seems not focusing on the details and really thinking about how they will/might be causes some surprises and difficulties. Looking at the bigger picture, all is well. In fact, all is very well. The big picture of moving to Belgium, having a family and living a slower quieter life is well and truly on track.

The details are a whole different story. Things like realising what you have left behind for example. I never thought about that. Why would I? I mean I always thought this adventure would be a positive thing full of amazing experiences and learning opportunities. The latter is certainly true, but maybe not always in a positive way.

Since we arrived, we have had to start again. Literally, from the beginning. It has forced me to reconsider many of the things I thought about when we planned "Project Belgium". The slightly unknowing and naive title I gave to this period in our lives. Many people I talk to (mainly in the bar where I work) look at me in a bemused way when I tell them where we came from in London -from a comfortable life earning good money with friends all around us, a company which we had built up, living in a great place in a city which we adored. Why would you give up that to come to Belgium?! I can understand their thoughts now. Not because (for a second) that Belgium is a bad place but why give yourself so much stress and work to do?

There has been ALOT of work to do. Imagine; Everything you have slowly built up over many years having to be sorted in a manner of weeks. I was a persona non grata when I arrived and making your self acceptable to the authorities is something that is your responsibility, no one elses. Things like tax issues, insurance, rent, work, where you're gonna live, bills, car, moving in and out, identity card etc etc. All of which have many separate applications, photocopies, letters and other paperwork that need to be done. All of this has been in another language. OK, I know I'm married to a Belgian but to someone who has been used to dealing with these things without a problem it's been a HUGE education in what it means to be out of control. I have spent many a moment thinking about what it must be like for an immigrant from a developing country who with nothing, often literally nothing, comes to Europe and has to deal with all the bureaucracy that needs to be sorted out. I can't say I would recommend it to anybody. It has, at times, left me on the cusp of ill-health in a way that I only thought was for other people. People who can't deal with change or new challenges. It has taught me the reality of the theory I have been preaching for many a year. The relationship between occupation and health. To have a meaningful and structured life is one that gives you the chance of progression. Otherwise you are left floundering. It has been mind blowing.

I have had an experience in last few months like nothing I will ever be able to describe fully. It's been a journey which has, I am sure, taught me things which I will benefit from greatly in the future. I am positive I am a better person for it, but at the same time I (we) have had massive doubts about whether we have done the right thing. Only time will tell and life, in the big picture, is rosey. On a personal level things are hard, because I never thought about those details which one must deal with when reinventing oneself in another country. I am blessed because I have people around me who support me, on both sides of the channel and beyond. I appreciate them more than I can say. However, those times when I am alone in my thoughts only one person can pull me out into the positive place I hope to be in the future and that is me.

A new purpose in life begins to surface for me now, that of being a father. Out of my self interested musings I realise that soon I will be responsible for another. Something that is slowly creeping up on me. Daily, I start to realise that in 4 months my life will be turned upside down again, but this time in a different way. A way which will be, I am sure, a most satisfying experience. I won't mind ensuring this little person is legitimate in the eyes of the authorities. I won't mind making sure this little person is safe and well in this land of which she knows not.

What about marketing?

Since we moved to Belgium, one of the first things many people ask me, whether it's Belgians or otherwise, is "How's your Dutch going?" I've developed a standard response nowadays, in English I say "Yeah, not bad, it gets better all the time!" In Dutch my reply for a long time has been something along the lines of "Niet zo slechte, bieter en bieter elke dag!" (Not so bad, better and better everyday!). The reality is it's a very slow process and one which will take longer than I envisaged. There is a few different reasons for this, one of which may sound like a cop-out but it really effects things. The fact that everybody speaks English has been a blessing and a real hindrance. It is, without a doubt, the main reason learning Dutch will take longer than I first thought. This is coupled with the fact that at times, you just want to be understood and the easiest way to do this is in English. At work I am improving, no doubt, but when I really need to know something or if I just don't understand what is being said, English is the way. I have had many a discussion at the bar with Flemish people, often in depth chats about life or some other issue effecting their day. I often slip in a few Dutch sentences here and there and it is often recognised and appreciated. One sentence I use quite a bit in the bar is "Wat mag het zijn?". This literally means "what will it be?". A very useful phrase when working in a bar and one which provokes a reply which I almost always understand.

I was recently having a chat with one of our locals, the discussion was almost entirely in English. It was quite an in depth, political, or such like subject. I realised, during the conversation, he had nothing to drink and asked "Wat mag het zijn?", his reply was "It's nothing to do with marketing!".

Says it all really.